Med School Love Story

     Dat Le Med student

Narrator (Tommy): Good evening. Tonight, we’d like to tell you all a story…
Planted Audience Member: What kind of a story?
Narrator: Well… funny you should ask. Let me tell you…

 

*To the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel Air*

Narrator: Now this is the story all about how,
Main Character (MC) (Dat): A med student found love, through ups and downs,
Narrator: So we’d like to take a minute, just sit right there,

MC: I’ll tell you how I fell in love with a girl named Claire

Main Character: At the University of Texas I was proudly raised,
Narrator: In the library is where he spent most of his days.

*MC walks over to desks and sits down*
MC: Taking notes, reading, getting’ ready for class,
And all cramming for exams just trying to pass,

Narrator: Till one of his counselors, who was trying to do good,        
Told me to volunteer, in my neighborhood.

*An Old Lady and a Cute Girl walk by, Cute Girl drops her purse*

*MC runs through old lady and helps Cute Girl*

MC: Excuse me miss, you dropped your purse!

Cute Girl: Thanks!! Here’s my number!

Narrator: He started helping others out, and he really cared!!
MC: So I said "I wanna be a doctor and help people everywhere!!"

MC: I studied for the MCAT, and when it came near,

Narrator: He did really awesome, and his parents gave a cheer!

            Dad: Good job son!

Mom: (Katherine) You could’ve done so much better,, got into Harvard…”

MC: In December I got an email with a lot of flair, and it said:

Dr. Wagner: This is Southwestern, join our family affair!!

Narrator: He came to Southwestern about July or June,
and he yelled to his classmates

MC:  *To group of congregating students* Hey guys, how’s it going?
Narrator: Looked at the campus, he was finally there,
Narrator: To make a new home, MC: and fall in love with Claire.

 

*Students are congregating and talking to each other in background*

Narrator: Ahhh, the first week of school, where first impressions are made, friendships are formed, and occasionally, the first seeds of love are planted…

 

*Main Character and his friends are hanging out, and a beautiful TA walks by*

Narrator: I will now act as translator for the following conversation, as med students often use obscure and hard-to-understand medical jargon when talking to each other

*Main character stares at TA as she bends over to pick up something*, MC: DAMN!
Narrator: *In a dry tone* I find our anatomy TA to be quite aesthetically pleasing. Her bone structure is pleasant to the eye and her teeth are very straight.

Buddy 1: Dude…
Narrator: I too find our TA to be attractive. Her lack of facial hair is a big bonus, as is the ratio of her hips to her waist. She will bear many healthy children.

*Main character sighs*
Narrator: However, I believe I would have great difficulty in procuring her affections, as there is great competition among my peers. But thanks for listening to me, I feel like we’ve bonded over this conversation.

 

*MC walks off from the crowd*
Girl Buddy: *Girl Buddy comes over to him* Hey…,

*Takes a knowing look at TA*
Girl:  Don’t lose faith, you’re a great guy, and she’ll see that. Here, I’ll help you get her attention.

 

*Music begins*
Girl: If there’s one thing girls can’t resist, it’s a romantic, confident guy, so just walk straight up to her and ask her out.

MC: Oh man, but I’m really awkward with girls, I don’t know….

Girl: *Pushes character toward girl* Just go for it!

 

*MC walks awkwardly and nervously toward TA. As song is going in the background, MC and TA are going through various awkward moments, Ex: waving to the person behind you as you enthusiastically wave back*

 

Chorus: *To the tune of “Can you feel the love tonight”*

Can you feel the awkwardness?

The cringe, you feel in there,

It hurts, to look, to see him fail,
Disaster’s in the air

 

MC: So many things to tell her,

But how to make her see,

Should I try a pick-up line? Impossible!
She’s probably laugh at me

 

Anatomy TA: This random guy, he’s looking,

At me, I don’t know why

He seems to be a creep; I know he is,

he won’t let me walk by

 

*MC and TA have an awkward standoff where one person ask a question followed by a one word answer and then silence in the background while chorus is singing*

            MC: Hey…. So how’s school?

            TA: It’s good….

            MC: Yeah…..I wo-

            TA: Yo-

                        *they both interrupt each other*

            MC: You go first!

            TA: I was just going to say your fly is open *walks away*

 

Chorus:

Can you feel the awkwardness?

The cringe, you just can’t bear,

So close, your eyes, and you will see

Just failure everywhere       (x2)

MC: Ohh…that was rough. *Sighs* Maybe we’re just not meant to be, ya know?

Girl: No, no. Look, catching a girl is like catching fish, you need the right kind of bait. You can’t expect to catch the big fish with a small worm…

MC: Whoa whoa, hey, my bait is plenty big enough!! You don’t know me!

Girl: No! I’m saying, maybe you need to be more outgoing, show her what she’s missing out!
MC: Yeah, you’re right, be confident. Hey! That guy just snatched her purse! Now’s my chance!!

 

*Music begins, to the tune of “Make a Man Out of You*

Chorus: Let’s get down to business

And forget the books,

            *throws off his backpack*

She can’t help but notice,

Cause you’ve got, your looks,

 

MC: I’m the baddest hunk

She’s ever met

And you can bet

I’ll prove to you,

In the end, I’m your man,

Through and through

Chorus: I’m your man

 

*MC grabs purse away and throws down the Assailant*

 

Chorus: Faster than a bullet,

Plus you’ve got, great hair,

Once you beat him senseless, *Punches Assailant*
She’ll be sure, to stare

MC: You’re pretty, fine,

And it’s time you knew,

That no matter what you do,

Trust me I’ll, be your man,

Through and through

Chorus: I’m your man

 

*MC throws Assailant behind a box and begins to pound on him behind the scenes*

MC: I’ll teach you to snatch her purse

Snatcher (Shiv): Tell my mom I love her!

MC: Boy were you a fool for robbing her

TA: This guy’s beating him half to death!!

Snatcher: Hope he doesn’t cause brain damage

MC: Now she’ll really see that I’m an awesome guy!!!

 

Chorus: *While MC and Assailant are fighting in the background*

            I’m your man

You must be hot as a forest fire

            I’m your man

With all the wealth of a great tycoon,

            I’m your man

With all the speed of a frequent flier,

Articulate as, the left side of, the brain!!!

 

*MC Strikes a pose and holds out his arms for the girl as she runs toward him and straight to the fallen purse snatcher*

 

TA: Oh my god! What is wrong with you?!? He’s my boyfriend, he was just holding my stuff for me!!

MC: Oh…I’m so sorry, I thought…

TA: *To Assailant* Are you okay? Assailant: It’s alright babe, I’m here to protect you

*TA and her bf storms off* TA: Ughhh!!

 

*Music softly*

MC: Guess that didn’t work out so well

Girl: Well, I think you’re a great guy, and sooner or later, a lucky girl will notice. It’s just not your time yet.
MC: Wow thanks…You’re a really great friend. You know Claire, I think this could be the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

*they walk off arm in arm*
Narrator: I’d like to say they lived happily ever after, but the truth is, they’re both in medical school. And so, they spent the next four years studying their butts off. The next 10 years stuck in catastrophic debt, and the next 20 years paying it off. THEN they lived happily ever after. The end.

 

Dat Le (son of Mộng Hoa YKH15)

"Medical school student from Dallas,TX"